Saturday, February 05, 2005

why can't i have that?

Okay, so I know....I know lots of stuff. I know that all things work to the good of all those that love God. I know that God has plans for my life and he knows what they are...I just don't know what they are and sometimes that can be frustrating! It's just that lately I've had this intense longing for a family of my own. I look around and all these people that are my age are married and starting (or well into starting) their own families and I want that. I really do....I know it's not easy and I know that maybe sometimes they're as jealous of me as I am of them, but that's what I want....it's what I desire and I have to admit that I don't see it happening any time soon. I'm not trying to be a downer about it and I do believe that God will give me the desires of my heart and that his timing is perfect, but I have to admit that I want it sooner than later and sometimes I really want to act like a 2 year old and stomp my feet and yell about how unfair it all is! I would, too, but I know it won't get me anywhere and maybe it is fair...at least my options are still open, there's alot of things that I can do that people with families and more responsibilities than I can't do. So, I will do my best to take full advantage of my singleness while I have it and know that the one that God has for me is somewhere near and that (hopefully) I will have a little family of my own to love and care for and until then, I will love and care for the children that are already in my life!!!