a public declaration...

How many times will I submit myself to your lies? To your words that flood over me and overwhelm me with insecurity and fear. How many times will I sing words to songs that I obviously don't believe as I let you...you control a part of me that you are not worthy of. You are not worthy of any part of me. Yet, I listen to your whispers....telling me to bottle it up, don't let Him know. Your failures, your fears, your insecurities...you'll only be mocked or made to feel like less than who you are. Protect yourself. Hide yourself...don't show your true self...what if...what if you're not loved? What if you're not liked? What if they don't think you're pretty enough or good enough? What if...what if...what if...what if....
I'm tired of the what if's!! I've had it with them....
I am chosen. I am loved. I am secure in that love. The One who loves me gave His all for me....what more could I ask of him? How much more would He need to do to prove His love? Nothing...absolutely nothing and I'd be a fool to ask Him to do anymore. So, no more of your lies...no more of believing that I am anything less than a daughter of the Most High God. Redeemed and bought with a price. Unworthy because of who I am, but worthy because of His sacrifice. My faults and failures are covered in His blood...covered in His love and they no longer leave a stain on who I am. I am being transformed...becoming new...and God loves me! He is for me. He is for me!!
God- help me to listen to you....let your voice be the loudest in my ears and in my heart. Help me believe what you say, what you've said in your word and to bring my whole self to you in everything. My hurts, my heartaches, my irrationalism, my broken pieces... everything! You created me, you love me and you are my healer, my Savior, my Lord and I give myself to you.

Psalm 13:5-6 But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. 6 I will sing to the LORD, for he has been good to me.

Psalm 16
1 Keep me safe, O God,
for in you I take refuge.
2 I said to the LORD, "You are my Lord;
apart from you I have no good thing."
3 As for the saints who are in the land,
they are the glorious ones in whom is all my delight.
4 The sorrows of those will increase
who run after other gods.
I will not pour out their libations of blood
or take up their names on my lips.
5 LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup;
you have made my lot secure.
6 The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
surely I have a delightful inheritance.
7 I will praise the LORD, who counsels me;
even at night my heart instructs me.
8 I have set the LORD always before me.
Because he is at my right hand,
I will not be shaken.
9 Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
my body also will rest secure,
10 because you will not abandon me to the grave,
nor will you let your Holy One see decay.
11 You have made known to me the path of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence,
with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

stuck in the middle....and Lush....and other stuff....

Sitting in my car driving home I noticed that to my left there were storm clouds with lightening bouncing back and forth between the clouds. To my right was a clear sky and a waxing moon. It was really cool to see completely opposite things depending on which way I turned my head. Of course...I looked mostly in front of me so I didn't run into anything!

Christie and I went to the Lush store for a party last Saturday. We were entered into a drawing and I won!!! I never win anything! I'm very excited about it!!! I went to pick up my prize on Tuesday night and I got Almond and Coconut Smoothie (shower, I don't know....shower stuff... not gel, but you use it in the shower...did I mention it's for the shower? Actually, I used it to shave today...in the shower...and it worked very nicely) and some stuff called Big Calm (this is like a jellie and you keep it in the fridge or freezer and then use it in the shower... I'm a bit weirded out by it. Have not used it yet...not sure when I will.) and last but not least a bath melt called Candy Bar....it smells deliciuos and I'm excited to use it!! If you've never checked out Lush, you should...it's like a little piece of heaven full of delicious smelling, all natural, soaps, bath bombs/melts/bars/bubbles, shampoos, conditioners and lotions. It's definitely good times!
We also went to Build a Bear and built bears :) That is totally one of my favorite things to do!! I made my bear for Kelly to take to England with her and Christie helped me come up with the name "Loo" for him. He's dressed in a soccer uniform because it was the only thing that said USA on it in the whole store....also "football" is really big in England, so it will be a good in for her ;) Christie made a bear too and named him Mr. Bear....but I think she's changing it to Sparky. He's dressed in a Tiger uniform and can be seen this Sunday on the Creative Arts table helping us sell tickets to the game on September 10th! It was a very fun day!!! :)

I'm listening to a podcast Bible study on Song of Solomon right now and it's really good. I found out about it when we went to Willow and looked it up. If you're interested, you can find it on itunes by doing a search for church of Wrigleyville. I've never heard a teaching on that book, so I was fascinated to hear what they taught from it. It's really opened my eyes...I've read SOS before, but there's stuff that they've said that I've never known before. Like...did you know that some of it is a dream being described? Did you know that the woman in the story is insecure in her beauty? Did you know that back in the day saying a woman's hair flowed like a herd of goats coming down a mountain was a compliment? Anyway...it's good stuff...and I'm learning alot about the book, about myself, and about God. I mean...he speaks to us in our insecurities through this amazing love story.

That's all I have to say for now...

Would you...

*I've been made fun of for not posting as much as some people want me to...so, here's a repeat. You've probably never seen it before...so it's new to you*

Would you follow a god because he feeds you? Would that be enough? Would you follow a god because he scares you? Is that what you want? Would you follow a god because everyone else does? Do you have no confidence to make your own decisions? Would you follow a God that loves you? A God who pursues you? A God that never stops whispering your name? A God that gave everything for you and is still giving as we make our demands in our disbelief? Would you follow a God who never gives up on you? Who so intimately knows you and still longs to be with you? Would you follow that God? Would you follow God?

It's not about you....

...and it's not about me. So many times we offer our help to a person or a situation and then when it doesn't turn out the way we want it to, when we don't get the job or maybe the appreciation that we expected, we turn and run. That's not what it's about though!! It's not about what you or I can get from a person we've offered our aid to, but what we can give to that person. It's not about warm fuzzies or doing the easy work, it's about truly being a good friend...stepping up and getting messy in the thick of life with others and doing it willingly and cheerfully! We live like we want our lives to be all me all the time, but we know that's not right. We know that's when we feel the worst, the most empty and the most alone. So, live to help others and be genuine in your offers :)